Grouchy-Grumpy Man’s Pet Peeves

I hope I don’t lose any readers when they find out how uptight and anal I really am.

Actually, I personally think I’m a laid-back sort of guy, very accepting of others—a kind of do-your-own-thing-as-long-as-it-doesn’t-hurt-anybody-else kind of person. Still, I find myself cringing throughout my day from obvious, rampant rudeness. Typically, it’s me wishing people were more thoughtful and considerate of others when I see something happen that goes against what I feel is proper.

So, here’s my basic list of Pet Peeves. Do you have some you’d like to add, or would you like to comment on mine? Please do.

Language and Rudeness:

1. People who substitute “No problem” for “You’re welcome,” “My pleasure. Please come again” or “Anytime. Let me know if I can do anything else.”

If you’re going out of your way to help someone, sure, saying “no problem” is courteously telling someone that it was not a problem—no trouble at all—to lend a hand.

Now, if you’re a fast food engineer with a paper hat and name badge that has a happy face on it, it’s your job to serve the public—of course it’s no problem…that’s what you’re getting paid for (if you’ve read Knight’s Ransom, you understand exactly how I feel)!

2. The use of the extra word why when saying “the reason why I…” instead of “the reason I…”

3. People who don’t answer when you say “Hello”—and don’t make eye contact

4. People who interrupt, especially in the middle of your answer to their question

5. Negative people with nothing positive ever to say

6. Bosses and other people who are liars and/or without integrity

7. Men who cuss publicly, in crowds and around women and children

8. People who feel that cigarette butts are so small that it’s not really like littering when you leave them on the sidewalk or along a walkway

TV, Movies & Video Games:

9. TV shows with explicit language and content that are obviously not for children, but purposely have elements that attract children to watch

10. Video games for children that contain sexual or very violent content and excessive depictions of sex, horrific injuries, deaths, severed body parts and blood

Driving & Cars:

11. Drivers who don’t use their turn signals to turn or change lanes (usually due to not having a free hand because of the cell phone to their ear)

12. Drivers who carry their little doggies on their laps while they drive

13. Drivers who text while they drive, especially in heavy traffic and when first in line at stop lights

14. Drivers who eat and drive with their knees

15. Drivers who block a second stall when parking

16. Drivers who stop at a four-way before you and then insist that you go first (especially when they’re on the right side)

Pet Owners:

17. Dog owners that let their dogs beat up on less aggressive ones, using the excuse “they’re just being dogs”

18. Dog owners that do not clean up after their dogs in public places, especially sidewalks and bike trails

19. Dog owners that don’t restrain their animals

20. Dog owners that put their animals in situations where the dog barks all day (especially apartments or back yards)

Rudeness & Put-downs:

21. Women and men who live in glass houses and tease others who have big noses, ears, are balding, overweight, flat chested, short or in some way less than perfect, and in ways that are beyond their control

Phones & Usage:

22. People who text in the theater during movies, especially when they’re seated toward the front of the theater

23. Long phone menus when all you want is to speak with someone or leave a message

24. Loud background music while on hold

25. Phone menus that list nothing that applies to your needs

26. Phone menus that take you in circles

27. People who answer their phones during a meeting and just sit there and talk while the meeting continues


28. Elitist writers who think they are “authentic,” “literary,” more “real” or someway above others—especially those who poopoo “commercial,” or “popular (pulp)” fiction

29. New writers who have just learned a standard writing convention and who make it their crusade to ensure every writer, experienced and novice alike, strictly abide by this rule as if it is to never be questioned

31. Writers who think they’re experts at their craft after only three or four years of writing

My Pet Peeves about Readers?

I have no pet peeves concerning readers. They’re all absolutely perfect—the reason I write!

32. Oops, there is one: Readers who read the last page before the rest of the book, and readers who don’t read the prologues or the epilogues of books that have them. Okay, sorry–that was two.

All right, now that I’ve told you of all these little annoyances I find in my life, I need to ask, “If I know I’m a hypocrite, does that make me not one?”

Come on! Get mad! Tell me some of your pet peeves!

8 responses to “Grouchy-Grumpy Man’s Pet Peeves

  1. Gordon,

    I’m with you on about all your peeves, especially your driving pet peeves. When I get home from even a short jaunt to the store, I’m exhausted from instructing other drivers how to better keep traffic flowing. “You don’t have a turn signal on that fancy new car?” “Hey, buddy, you need a couple MORE dogs jumping from front seat to back so you can get your mind off keeping your car between lines.” “I’ll wait until the woman with the cute figure gets completely out of your view, guy. I’ve got nothing better to do than sit through the light again!”

    And the cigarette butt thing. It used to be a $500 fine for littering, even a little. There are a lot of butts flying out of windows of late. It really bugs me when an out-of-state car litters, too.

  2. Thanks, Gary! Glad I’m not the only one!

  3. People who are not serious when they say, “Can I help?”, instead of a specific, “What can Ido to help you?”

  4. Yes, Martin–great point! Sometimes it seems courteous language has been shortened for the convenience of the speaker–like they have a limited air supply/number of breaths they can take — leaving what might have been uttered as a sincere, heart-felt concern to seem disingenuous or ambiguous to say the least.

  5. Newscasters that use incorrect grammar. Especially the term “grow your business” instead of expand your business, increase your clientele, or anything else that makes sense. You grow vegetables, not businesses.

  6. Thanks Pam! So technically, the only businesses that can grow would be tree farms, orchards, farms and plant nurseries!

    I love it–I’ll be on the lookout for this one!

  7. Okay, I’m showing my anality too (is that a word?). The use of “irregardless” instead of “regardless”. You’ve hit the nail on the head with the others.

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